Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

20 Positive Affirmations For Being Happy In Difficult Times

Photo: Thirdman – Pexels

With World Mental Health Day just yesterday, I got into a discussion with a friend who called to check on me. She asked how I was holding up in the midst of a ton of recent changes in my life. This led to us discussing affirmations I found helpful when I was feeling overwhelmed.

RELATED: 10 Easy Ways To Start Your 2023 Self-Care Journey Off Right

To give some context, this year has been filled with loss and tragedy. I’ve lost an aunt whom I was growing closer to and a niece whom I loved like one of my own children, initiated a divorce, adjusted to not seeing my kids every day, sold my home, and relocated. And those are just the biggest things. Without a positive outlook, I could easily have folded under the pressure.

Video: Wisdom Nuggets – YouTube

When we experience pain and trauma in life, it’s easy to be unable to see a way out. Maybe the problems you are facing seem insurmountable, or the hurt and devastation are too much to handle. Well, I’m here to tell you that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you can change your mindset, you can turn losses into lessons that, when applied properly, fill your future with blessings beyond measure.

You may have heard of or dismissed the thought that positive affirmations can change your life. But these uplifting words can help you banish negative thoughts and self-talk and literally alter your mental state.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: 8 Meaningful Ways to Invest In Yourself

The science behind it is that self-affirmation lights up the ‘rewards’ center of your brain, just as it would if you were performing the actions you are talking about. For instance, if you say, “I am going to get a pay increase,” your body responds as if you already have, and your neural pathways alter areas of your brain that make you feel happy.

In addition, studies have confirmed positive affirmations can decrease health-deteriorating stress, increase your motivation to take effective action and prompt you to change your habits in favor of those that support your goals and purpose. Below are 20 positive affirmations that will help you stay grounded and content in tough times.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: Setting Healthy Boundaries and Building Quality Relationships

20 Positive Affirmations To Uplift You During Hard Times:

1. Life is not happening to me. It’s happening for me.

It’s easy to fall into a victim mentality when you are getting hit with blow after blow in life. Keep in mind that everything you’re experiencing is moving you closer to your destiny.

2. I am in total control of myself and always do what’s in my best interest.

Blaming other people for your suffering can buffer the guilt you feel for where you are in life. Taking accountability for the role you played puts you in a place of acceptance and allows you to forgive yourself. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.

3. I know that this, too, shall pass.

Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Remember that it can’t rain all the time. The sun will eventually come out. Learn to take the good with the bad and know that your struggles won’t last forever.

RELATED: Black Women: Stop Going Where You Are Not Welcomed

4. I am strong and resilient.

When you feel like giving up, remember that you are full of strength and that you didn’t come this far to only come this far. You got this.

5. I know that it gets greater later, and am looking toward the future with excitement.

Fear can be paralyzing and is usually the result of worrying about things that have not actually come to fruition. Stay present and keep your eyes on the prize. You can’t change the past, but you can control what is happening right now and put the pieces in place for a bright future.

6. I stand for something, so I don’t fall for anything.

Sometimes, you have to go through it to get to it. There are no shortcuts or detours. When you stick to your values and principles, it might cost you people and things, but you are willing to grieve those losses to manifest a better tomorrow.

RELATED: A Blessing or A Lesson? 8 Ways to Turn Life’s Losses into Wins

7. I only nourish my body with healthy things.

Garbage in, garbage out. What you take in matters. Whether it’s food or energy, only ‘eat’ things that make you better. Distance yourself from negative places and people, and always protect your peace and tranquility.

8. I go where I’m celebrated, not tolerated.

You don’t have to force anyone to like you. There are people in this world who will love to see you coming. Those are your people. Why even entertain anyone who does not approach you with love, dignity, and respect?

9. I know that everything happens for a reason.

It might not be apparent now, but everything happening in your life is divinely guiding your steps. Trust the process and stay the course.

10. I can do this.

Know that no weapon formed against you will prosper. You are facing challenges because you are a person who can overcome them.

Photo: Thirdman – Pexels

11. If I keep pushing, I will come out on the other side.

When you’re in a storm, you don’t stop and sit in it. You keep on moving until you find yourself under clear skies and in greener pastures.

12. I am comfortable asking for help when I need it.

Many strong people struggle with asking for help. Build rapport with people you trust, and don’t hesitate to reach out. Get professional help if your burdens feel like too much to bare.

13. I give myself adequate time and space to fill my cup.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take time to practice self-care and mindfulness without guilt. Make yourself a priority.

Photo: Madison Inouye – Pexels

14. I was blessed to wake up this morning and have the opportunity to experience life for another day.

As bad as things seem, there are some people who didn’t wake up today. Be grateful that you are here and have another chance to get it right.

15. I know my purpose, and I do something every day that brings me closer to it.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is find out exactly why are here. What is your passion? How do you want to be remembered? Once you know, act like it and make positive progress in the right direction.

16. I trust my intuition, and I know how to make good decisions.

How many times could you have avoided disaster by simply listening to your inner voice? It’s time to trust yourself and follow divine guidance.

Video: Lisa Nichols – YouTube

17. I like myself, so everyone else liking me is just a bonus.

One of the biggest sources of disappointment in life is a lack of external validation. But when you learn to validate yourself, you will begin to care less about what other people think about you.

18. I am worthy of receiving whatever I want in life.

You get what you believe you deserve. Make sure your internal sense of value and worth matches what you are striving for. Never chase. Believe it’s yours, and it shall be.

19. I turn my pain into power.

Everything you experience is either a blessing or a lesson. Even painful and heartbreaking situations can be the catalyst for achieving your wildest dreams. Find the life lesson in your trauma and use it to empower yourself.

20. I am always growing and transforming.

If you want success and happiness, you must realize that there is always something new to learn. Be willing to change your mind in order to morph into your best and most authentic self.

RELATED: The Problem with Being Strong, Black & Woman

Home, Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

A Blessing or A Lesson? 8 Ways to Turn Life’s Losses into Wins

“I never lose. Either I Win or I Learn.”

NyRee Ausler
Women WInning – Photo Cred: Shutterstock

I don’t know who originated the quote above, but throughout the years, I have made it my own, internalizing it and applying it to every aspect of my life. I strongly believe that everything that happens in life is either a blessing or a lesson. Every success is an opportunity to celebrate and every failure is a chance to learn a valuable lesson; I consider both epic wins. This mindset has been pivotal in my ability to bounce back, reinvent myself, and create new opportunities. I have compiled a list of 8 ways to always win in life, even when it feels like you’re losing.

Change Your Perspective:

In times of challenge, it’s easy to see the glass as half empty. Early in my career, a company I was at suddenly made the announcement that they were shutting down and laying everyone off. I immediately started to panic but when I settled down at home that night, I realized that I no longer had to endure a three-hour daily commute, had run out of opportunities for advancement, and was only there for a paycheck. I enrolled in training courses and secured a higher-level position that paid more, offered growth and provided continuing education opportunities. Every time one door closes, another one opens. You just have to decide on which door to try.

Self-Analyze:

It’s easy to blame other people when things go wrong. Having the ability to be introspective and identify how you contributed to a failure or an unsatisfactory outcome is important in turning that loss into a win. No one is perfect, so there should always be something that you can find to improve on or do better next time. The fact that you survived and are able to look back at the situation is a success in itself.

Empathize:

I used to believe that any time I lost, someone else had to have won. In my mind, there was always a supervillain behind the scenes praying for my demise and celebrating when that prayer was answered. Okay, that’s a little extreme, but you catch my drift. As I’ve grown, I’ve found that there is not always a clear winner and loser in every situation. Sometimes it’s a win-win and in others, everyone is mourning a loss. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes can help to ease anger and emotional baggage, freeing you to find the lesson and blessing.

Stand Up for Yourself or Someone Else:

I’ve always been a fighter. I stand up for what I believe in and refuse to stand by idly watching as another human being is treated unfairly. But when I started my career, I toned it down; as a black woman at work, I was careful not to be labeled as “aggressive” or “angry”. I wanted to fit in and not make waves. Every time I stood down when I should have stood up, I went home and almost couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. It wasn’t long before I decided to be myself; no more going along to get along, no more code-switching or smiling in the face of disrespect, microaggressions, or disregard. Standing up for myself and others taught me to deal with my emotions and conflict effectively, what motivates others and what circumstances to avoid in the future.

Identify Opportunities:

I was once working as a payroll specialist but doing the work of a supervisor. When the supervisory role opened up, I figured I was going to be selected; I had proven I could do the job and do it well. My manager thought differently. She hired an external candidate and asked me to train her in her supervisory duties. I asked about why I have been passed over and was told that it was because I didn’t have a payroll certification. That day, I signed up to take the certification exam and began studying. After passing a few months later I moved to a supervisor role elsewhere. I decided that no one would ever be able to hold the lack of credentials over my head again. Even in times where you know you’re being treated unfairly, there are things that you can do to eliminate that roadblock going forward.

Find Clarity & Direction:

One of the first places that I worked for several years was at a cell phone provider. For years, I received accolades as a top customer service rep. I had built my phone persona and no matter how many customers cursed me out, yelled at me, and disrespected me, I stayed in character and did everything by the book. The company loved me. After a few years, employees were notified that the organization was relocating and I got offered a chance to move with them. I recalled the dread I felt pulling into work every day and the willpower and self-control it took to listen to people verbally assault you in one call after the next. I declined and dedicated my efforts to my payroll and human resources career. Sometimes we are well aware that we are not happy with the status quo, but need a push to move in the right direction.

Take a Break:

Nothing is more important than your mental health. In a culture where accomplishments, titles, and wealth rule, finding the time for self-care is hard. As many know, I left a “good job” six months ago. The pay was good, but not what it should have been for the work I was doing. The company was international so I was online early in the morning and late at night to meet with co-workers in various time zones. I had no job lined up and didn’t care. I needed a break. Since then, I have pampered myself, grown closer with my family, rediscovered my love of writing, and released years of stress. You can’t win in life without your health and mental wellness. Your first priority is to take care of yourself. Don’t sell out your God-given talents to make a buck or fill the emotional tanks of others while yours is running on empty. Plan, prepare and take a break when you need to.

Let it Go:

I used to hate when people told me that forgiveness is for me and not for the person being forgiven. I always felt as if I were being too passive by moving on from the transgression. However, the person that had wronged me would be past the situation and living their best life as if it never happened. I finally recognized that I was staying in a negative place and inflicting further suffering on myself. I began to practice the art of letting go. When I encounter something that I consider to be a bad experience, I ask myself two questions: Can I change it? If not, is there a lesson to be learned? If I can’t change it, I take the lesson and move on. If there is a lesson to be learned, I write it down, meditate on it to avoid a recurrence, and move on. If I can find no lesson in it, I stop the proverbial bleeding and move on. Either way, I move on. Erykah Badu famously said, “Bag lady, you gone hurt your back… dragging all them bags like that…” in one of my favorite songs, Bag Lady. The message was about moving on and not carrying excess baggage with you. So change things if you can, take in the lesson and lighten your load.

Whether the loss of a loved one has taught you to love your family while they are still here, you are starting out new with a fresh outlook on life, or you have simply cut your losses and kept it moving, every situation in life has been a stepping stone to get you to where you are today: alive and of sound mind with a world full of endless possibility at your fingertips.