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10 Easy Ways To Start Your 2023 Self-Care Journey Off Right

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You’ve likely heard the term ‘self-care’ thrown around a lot over the past few years. Women and men everywhere have been waking up to the importance of taking care of their physical, mental, and emotional health.

The most desirable lifestyle is no longer one of simply coping with the stresses of life. Instead we are taking total and complete control over who and what we let into our orbits and filling our own cups before pouring into others’.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: 8 Meaningful Ways to Invest In Yourself

Taking care of yourself sounds good, but putting it into action can be a challenge. Some of us have been looking out for everyone else for so long, we have no idea how to start putting ourselves first. Here are ten easy ways to start practicing self-care:

10 Easy Ways To Start Your Self-Care Journey

1. Make your body your temple.

You get out of life what you put into it. The same goes for your body. When we are stressed, we tend to eat the wrong things and neglect exercise. This will only compound your problems.

The first step in starting your self-care journey is to be mindful of how you feed yourself and what your body needs. Eat mostly nutrient-rich foods, stay hydrated, and squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise daily. Nobody’s perfect, but a little bit of change can go a long way.

2. Stay away from negativity.

Negative people are like a virus that spreads fast and furious, infecting everything they come into contact with. If you find yourself around anyone who bring bad vibes, it’s important to distance yourself from that person.

Protecting your peace and sanity requires blocking out any threats. Negativity can also come be way of news, social media, gossip blogs, and other mediums. Limit your exposure to anything and everything that does not enhance your positive energy.

3. Incorporate peace into you life.

There are several things that can be done to enhance your sense of inner peace. Meditation is the practice of using mindfulness to focus and achieve mental clarity. Calm and Headspace can help you learn to meditate.

Other activities such as journaling, yoga, or walking can help to maintain your mental and emotional wellbeing. You don’t have to walk alone. GirlTrek is an organization aimed at getting Black women moving together. There are also a number of yogis on YouTube to follow and learn from.

4. Take a break.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and recalibrate. The hustle and grind culture that so many of us have subscribed to has taken a big toll on our mental health. Gone are the days when you ignore your intuition and keep pushing.

Life can get overwhelming and it’s important that we know how to just say no. Take a day off from work or log out of your social media accounts. It’s okay to forego some of your obligations and pull yourself together. As long as you communicate your intentions, chill and heal.

5. Do what makes you happy.

We spend so much time doing what we have to do but so little time doing the things that we are most passionate about. Make time to do things that you truly enjoy.

Studies have shown that people who do what they love have lower stress levels, blood pressure, and heart rates, and are able to better regulate their moods. So doing whatever you please isn’t just about preference, your life literally depends on it.

6. Talk sexy to yourself.

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is engage in negative self-talk. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or act in a way you wish you hadn’t. That hurtful conversation that is playing in your head will do more harm than good.

You are your own best and biggest advocate, so be accountable for your actions but forgive yourself quickly. Let go of guilt and other toxic emotions that do you no good and can manifest as self-doubt.

Instead, use inspirational and uplifting words that make you feel good when addressing or referencing yourself. If you don’t love you, why should anyone else?

7. Learn to let go.

Hanging on to feelings like guilt, hurt, and anger can be detrimental to you. It does no one any good to walk around in turmoil because of things that they don’t have the power to change.

We can’t control out pasts, nor can we foresee anything that will happen in the future. What we can do is live in the present, learning from our mistakes, letting go of ill will, and taking actions that will make our chances of success and happiness better.

8. Find your tribe and stay connected.

Surrounding yourself with authentic people who love and support you is imperative to the self-care process. While being a lone wolf might make you feel strong and empowered, being lonely can cause serious issues.

Social isolation has been linked to early death, depression, anxiety, an increased risk of dementia, and even suicide. The ‘no new friends’ era was ill-advised and is dying out, thankfully. Step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people who share your newfound zest for life.

9. Don’t compromise your boundaries or values.

A key aspect of self-care is setting boundaries and making sure that anyone you choose to have in your presence knows what they are and adheres to them. You have to be willing to let anyone who does not respect those limitations go.

Compromising the morals and values that are within you will definitely lead to regret, guilt, and even anger at yourself and the violator. Stick to your guns no matter who doesn’t like it. You’ll be happy you did.

10. Acknowledge and master your emotions.

Burying your feelings breeds toxicity, negativity, and dysfunction. Fear, anger, sadness, and other emotions are a part of life. It’s healthy to process them and express them in ways that benefit you. Every experience in life is a blessing or a lesson.

When you have sentiments that you’d rather avoid come up, let them out, analyze how you’re feeling by asking why, determine what actions you can take to overcome them, and let them go.

If you find that you are simply unable to move past those paralyzing feelings, seek help from a mental health professional. It is okay to not be okay. I am a strong believer in every person participating in continuous therapy because we all need a little tune-up once in a while.

Conclusion

Learning how to take care of yourself takes practice, especially if you are the go-to person that is everything to everybody. Prioritizing self may be a struggle at first, but as the weight of the world lifts off of your shoulders, you will become more and more comfortable and confident in loving yourself first.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: Setting Healthy Boundaries and Building Quality Relationships

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The Curious Case of Kanye: Why His Problems Have Nothing To Do With Black Women

Photo Cred: TMZ.COM

Another day… another prominent Black man is using his blackness to garner support from Black women. Let me start by saying that I have no problem whatsoever with interracial relationships. I believe that all human beings are entitled to and should love who they love. I do have a problem with Black people justifying their self-worth by their proximity to whiteness. In addition, nothing bothers me more than those same Black people getting shunned by the white people they have aligned themselves with and returning to the Black community for support in their self-imposed plight.

I remember when Kanye West first hit the scene with his College Dropout album. He was raw and gritty, from the streets of Chicago, had just survived a terrible car accident that inspired his debut single, Through the Wire, and had been raised by his mother, Donda West, for whom he had the utmost love and respect. We could relate, as most of us had been through or knew someone who had experienced some aspect of his life. He was the ultimate story of overcoming. Black women’s reverence for him was further solidified when he dropped his single with Jamie Foxx, Gold Digger. One verse, in particular, caught fire:

“So you stick by his side.
I know there’s dudes ballin’, and yeah, that’s nice.
And they gonna keep callin’ and tryin’, but you stay right, girl,
And when you get on, he leave yo’ ass for a white girl.”

I couldn’t personally relate to the lyrics and could not have cared less who any man chose but knew this was a strong narrative circulating amongst Black women. The belief that some Black men would stay with us while they struggled, using our loyalty to grow and flourish, then move on to white women when success hit was hurtful to many. Kanye understood. He, too, could relate. He put Black women’s pain to pen and paper and hit a gold mine. I was skeptical, as I knew the history of people using Black pain and suffering for profit.

As the years went on, Kanye seemed to change. He lost his mother, married, and created a family with Kim Kardashian, appearing to have followed the blueprint he laid out in Gold Digger. His supposed slap-in-the-face of Black women was the catalyst for Poet, Jasmine Man’s 2015 poem, Footnotes for Kanye. As the years went on, we watched him spiral into an abyss of perceived anti-blackness. He allowed his wife to repeatedly appropriate Black hairstyles, mimicking and exploiting the aesthetics of Black women. He supported Donald Trump, who publicly and aggressively sought to disenfranchise Black voters among many other terrible things. And let’s not forget the “Slavery was a choice” thing. Over the years, Kanye has successfully dismantled his reputation in many circles of black people unapologetically.

Fast forward to today. Kanye is in the midst of a messy divorce from Kim Kardashian. His unstable behavior over several years had led to the decline of his marriage. Last year we watched as he begged his wife to take him back. She seems to have ignored his pleas and since then, we have seen him publicize his co-parenting drama time and time again. Then today, Kanye issued the following statement on Instagram:

Divorce and co-parenting problems are not new or exclusive to Kanye West. With almost half of marriages ending in divorce, it’s entirely possible that many of us have experienced the same. Expressing one’s feelings on social media is the new norm. Although not ideal, many people do it to gain support, get sympathy, or simply to vent. But something about this post really bothered me.

The use of the word “BLACK” and the context it was used in feel inauthentic and in my opinion, take away from the real problems that Black people experience. In the first instance, Kanye talks about claims that he put a hit on Kim and how easily these false accusations can impact the lives of Black men. You have to be living under a rock to not understand the impact of police brutality on the Black community and the frequency of Black men being locked up, based solely on the testimony of white women. Although this is a valid concern, I believe Kanye is bringing it up to exploit the emotions that Black women feel when confronted with racism and injustice against Black men. It’s common knowledge that Black women are at the forefront of the fight for racial justice. He knows that and is using that for his own personal benefit, whether warranted or not.

In the second instance, Kanye uses the word “BLACK” in reference to his children, implying the need to protect them. Black women have a history of being viewed as nurturers and living up to that stereotype. Whether being forced to care for the families and nurse the children of slaveowners while ours went neglected, and even feeding our broken and battered men from our breasts when they were deprived of food or the expectation that we are the empathetic caretakers in the organizations, Black women are often given everyone’s burden to carry. When it comes to children, especially Black children, our natural inclination is to protect them from the unique dangers they face in this world. As the son of a Black mother, Kanye gets this. Instead of dealing with his marital woes like a man, he is using his platform to lay his problems at the feet of black women. Words have power and he is yielding that power to play on our emotions.

As a man with the resources needed for whatever legal custody battles he faces and undoubtedly, a team of “yes” men and women surrounding him, ready to jump at his every beck and call, there is no financial support that we can provide him in his time of need. But that’s not what he is looking for. What he needs is our anger, our empathy, our maternal instincts toward his Black children. Kanye wants to win in the court of public opinion and he wants to enlist the help of Black women to wage emotional warfare on his soon-to-be ex-wife. Make no mistake about it. There are some of us that have already internalized his plight and decided that we are ready to get in the trenches to protect this man against the racial injustice he is apparently facing. I am not one of those women and you should not be.

In recent times, self-care has become a 10 billion dollar industry, buoyed by the realization of Black women that our first obligation is to ourselves. We have awakened to the idea that it is not our job to save every Black man that needs saving. Kanye cannot launch a successful career off the backs of black people, say and do hurtful things to those same people, and return to them for support when it’s convenient. He made the decisions that he felt were best for his life and career and has to lie in the bed he made. Most of us get it and take the situation and his obvious pandering to Black women for what it is… gaslighting. My hope for all of us is that we save our energy for those that deserve it and live up to the responsibility they hold as influencers. Let’s prioritize ourselves and ignore the chatter. Don’t be sucked into situations that do not involve you, protect your energy, and certainly do not allow toxic and conniving men of any race to use your Black Girl Magic reserves to fill their cups while leaving your tank on empty.

Here is a list of 9 ways to practice self-care from Essence Magazine.

“I don’t have to go around trying to save everybody anymore; that’s not my job.” ~Jada Pinkett-Smith

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NyRee Ausler

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