Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

20 Positive Affirmations For Being Happy In Difficult Times

Photo: Thirdman – Pexels

With World Mental Health Day just yesterday, I got into a discussion with a friend who called to check on me. She asked how I was holding up in the midst of a ton of recent changes in my life. This led to us discussing affirmations I found helpful when I was feeling overwhelmed.

RELATED: 10 Easy Ways To Start Your 2023 Self-Care Journey Off Right

To give some context, this year has been filled with loss and tragedy. I’ve lost an aunt whom I was growing closer to and a niece whom I loved like one of my own children, initiated a divorce, adjusted to not seeing my kids every day, sold my home, and relocated. And those are just the biggest things. Without a positive outlook, I could easily have folded under the pressure.

Video: Wisdom Nuggets – YouTube

When we experience pain and trauma in life, it’s easy to be unable to see a way out. Maybe the problems you are facing seem insurmountable, or the hurt and devastation are too much to handle. Well, I’m here to tell you that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you can change your mindset, you can turn losses into lessons that, when applied properly, fill your future with blessings beyond measure.

You may have heard of or dismissed the thought that positive affirmations can change your life. But these uplifting words can help you banish negative thoughts and self-talk and literally alter your mental state.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: 8 Meaningful Ways to Invest In Yourself

The science behind it is that self-affirmation lights up the ‘rewards’ center of your brain, just as it would if you were performing the actions you are talking about. For instance, if you say, “I am going to get a pay increase,” your body responds as if you already have, and your neural pathways alter areas of your brain that make you feel happy.

In addition, studies have confirmed positive affirmations can decrease health-deteriorating stress, increase your motivation to take effective action and prompt you to change your habits in favor of those that support your goals and purpose. Below are 20 positive affirmations that will help you stay grounded and content in tough times.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: Setting Healthy Boundaries and Building Quality Relationships

20 Positive Affirmations To Uplift You During Hard Times:

1. Life is not happening to me. It’s happening for me.

It’s easy to fall into a victim mentality when you are getting hit with blow after blow in life. Keep in mind that everything you’re experiencing is moving you closer to your destiny.

2. I am in total control of myself and always do what’s in my best interest.

Blaming other people for your suffering can buffer the guilt you feel for where you are in life. Taking accountability for the role you played puts you in a place of acceptance and allows you to forgive yourself. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.

3. I know that this, too, shall pass.

Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Remember that it can’t rain all the time. The sun will eventually come out. Learn to take the good with the bad and know that your struggles won’t last forever.

RELATED: Black Women: Stop Going Where You Are Not Welcomed

4. I am strong and resilient.

When you feel like giving up, remember that you are full of strength and that you didn’t come this far to only come this far. You got this.

5. I know that it gets greater later, and am looking toward the future with excitement.

Fear can be paralyzing and is usually the result of worrying about things that have not actually come to fruition. Stay present and keep your eyes on the prize. You can’t change the past, but you can control what is happening right now and put the pieces in place for a bright future.

6. I stand for something, so I don’t fall for anything.

Sometimes, you have to go through it to get to it. There are no shortcuts or detours. When you stick to your values and principles, it might cost you people and things, but you are willing to grieve those losses to manifest a better tomorrow.

RELATED: A Blessing or A Lesson? 8 Ways to Turn Life’s Losses into Wins

7. I only nourish my body with healthy things.

Garbage in, garbage out. What you take in matters. Whether it’s food or energy, only ‘eat’ things that make you better. Distance yourself from negative places and people, and always protect your peace and tranquility.

8. I go where I’m celebrated, not tolerated.

You don’t have to force anyone to like you. There are people in this world who will love to see you coming. Those are your people. Why even entertain anyone who does not approach you with love, dignity, and respect?

9. I know that everything happens for a reason.

It might not be apparent now, but everything happening in your life is divinely guiding your steps. Trust the process and stay the course.

10. I can do this.

Know that no weapon formed against you will prosper. You are facing challenges because you are a person who can overcome them.

Photo: Thirdman – Pexels

11. If I keep pushing, I will come out on the other side.

When you’re in a storm, you don’t stop and sit in it. You keep on moving until you find yourself under clear skies and in greener pastures.

12. I am comfortable asking for help when I need it.

Many strong people struggle with asking for help. Build rapport with people you trust, and don’t hesitate to reach out. Get professional help if your burdens feel like too much to bare.

13. I give myself adequate time and space to fill my cup.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take time to practice self-care and mindfulness without guilt. Make yourself a priority.

Photo: Madison Inouye – Pexels

14. I was blessed to wake up this morning and have the opportunity to experience life for another day.

As bad as things seem, there are some people who didn’t wake up today. Be grateful that you are here and have another chance to get it right.

15. I know my purpose, and I do something every day that brings me closer to it.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is find out exactly why are here. What is your passion? How do you want to be remembered? Once you know, act like it and make positive progress in the right direction.

16. I trust my intuition, and I know how to make good decisions.

How many times could you have avoided disaster by simply listening to your inner voice? It’s time to trust yourself and follow divine guidance.

Video: Lisa Nichols – YouTube

17. I like myself, so everyone else liking me is just a bonus.

One of the biggest sources of disappointment in life is a lack of external validation. But when you learn to validate yourself, you will begin to care less about what other people think about you.

18. I am worthy of receiving whatever I want in life.

You get what you believe you deserve. Make sure your internal sense of value and worth matches what you are striving for. Never chase. Believe it’s yours, and it shall be.

19. I turn my pain into power.

Everything you experience is either a blessing or a lesson. Even painful and heartbreaking situations can be the catalyst for achieving your wildest dreams. Find the life lesson in your trauma and use it to empower yourself.

20. I am always growing and transforming.

If you want success and happiness, you must realize that there is always something new to learn. Be willing to change your mind in order to morph into your best and most authentic self.

RELATED: The Problem with Being Strong, Black & Woman

Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

10 Easy Ways To Start Your 2023 Self-Care Journey Off Right / Shutterstock

You’ve likely heard the term ‘self-care’ thrown around a lot over the past few years. Women and men everywhere have been waking up to the importance of taking care of their physical, mental, and emotional health.

The most desirable lifestyle is no longer one of simply coping with the stresses of life. Instead we are taking total and complete control over who and what we let into our orbits and filling our own cups before pouring into others’.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: 8 Meaningful Ways to Invest In Yourself

Taking care of yourself sounds good, but putting it into action can be a challenge. Some of us have been looking out for everyone else for so long, we have no idea how to start putting ourselves first. Here are ten easy ways to start practicing self-care:

10 Easy Ways To Start Your Self-Care Journey

1. Make your body your temple.

You get out of life what you put into it. The same goes for your body. When we are stressed, we tend to eat the wrong things and neglect exercise. This will only compound your problems.

The first step in starting your self-care journey is to be mindful of how you feed yourself and what your body needs. Eat mostly nutrient-rich foods, stay hydrated, and squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise daily. Nobody’s perfect, but a little bit of change can go a long way.

2. Stay away from negativity.

Negative people are like a virus that spreads fast and furious, infecting everything they come into contact with. If you find yourself around anyone who bring bad vibes, it’s important to distance yourself from that person.

Protecting your peace and sanity requires blocking out any threats. Negativity can also come be way of news, social media, gossip blogs, and other mediums. Limit your exposure to anything and everything that does not enhance your positive energy.

3. Incorporate peace into your life.

There are several things that can be done to enhance your sense of inner peace. Meditation is the practice of using mindfulness to focus and achieve mental clarity. Calm and Headspace can help you learn to meditate.

Other activities such as journaling, yoga, or walking can help to maintain your mental and emotional wellbeing. You don’t have to walk alone. GirlTrek is an organization aimed at getting Black women moving together. There are also a number of yogis on YouTube to follow and learn from.

4. Take a break.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and recalibrate. The hustle and grind culture that so many of us have subscribed to has taken a big toll on our mental health. Gone are the days when you ignore your intuition and keep pushing.

Life can get overwhelming and it’s important that we know how to just say no. Take a day off from work or log out of your social media accounts. It’s okay to forego some of your obligations and pull yourself together. As long as you communicate your intentions, chill and heal.

5. Do what makes you happy.

We spend so much time doing what we have to do but so little time doing the things that we are most passionate about. Make time to do things that you truly enjoy.

Studies have shown that people who do what they love have lower stress levels, blood pressure, and heart rates, and are able to better regulate their moods. So doing whatever you please isn’t just about preference, your life literally depends on it.

6. Talk sexy to yourself.

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is engage in negative self-talk. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or act in a way you wish you hadn’t. That hurtful conversation that is playing in your head will do more harm than good.

You are your own best and biggest advocate, so be accountable for your actions but forgive yourself quickly. Let go of guilt and other toxic emotions that do you no good and can manifest as self-doubt.

Instead, use inspirational and uplifting words that make you feel good when addressing or referencing yourself. If you don’t love you, why should anyone else?

7. Learn to let go.

Hanging on to feelings like guilt, hurt, and anger can be detrimental to you. It does no one any good to walk around in turmoil because of things that they don’t have the power to change.

We can’t control out pasts, nor can we foresee anything that will happen in the future. What we can do is live in the present, learning from our mistakes, letting go of ill will, and taking actions that will make our chances of success and happiness better.

8. Find your tribe and stay connected.

Surrounding yourself with authentic people who love and support you is imperative to the self-care process. While being a lone wolf might make you feel strong and empowered, being lonely can cause serious issues.

Social isolation has been linked to early death, depression, anxiety, an increased risk of dementia, and even suicide. The ‘no new friends’ era was ill-advised and is dying out, thankfully. Step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people who share your newfound zest for life.

9. Don’t compromise your boundaries or values.

A key aspect of self-care is setting boundaries and making sure that anyone you choose to have in your presence knows what they are and adheres to them. You have to be willing to let anyone who does not respect those limitations go.

Compromising the morals and values that are within you will definitely lead to regret, guilt, and even anger at yourself and the violator. Stick to your guns no matter who doesn’t like it. You’ll be happy you did.

10. Acknowledge and master your emotions.

Burying your feelings breeds toxicity, negativity, and dysfunction. Fear, anger, sadness, and other emotions are a part of life. It’s healthy to process them and express them in ways that benefit you. Every experience in life is a blessing or a lesson.

When you have sentiments that you’d rather avoid come up, let them out, analyze how you’re feeling by asking why, determine what actions you can take to overcome them, and let them go.

If you find that you are simply unable to move past those paralyzing feelings, seek help from a mental health professional. It is okay to not be okay. I am a strong believer in every person participating in continuous therapy because we all need a little tune-up once in a while.


Learning how to take care of yourself takes practice, especially if you are the go-to person that is everything to everybody. Prioritizing self may be a struggle at first, but as the weight of the world lifts off of your shoulders, you will become more and more comfortable and confident in loving yourself first.

RELATED: Protecting Your Peace: Setting Healthy Boundaries and Building Quality Relationships

Home, Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

The Curious Case of Kanye: Why His Problems Have Nothing To Do With Black Women

Photo Cred: TMZ.COM

Another day… another prominent Black man is using his blackness to garner support from Black women. Let me start by saying that I have no problem whatsoever with interracial relationships. I believe that all human beings are entitled to and should love who they love. I do have a problem with Black people justifying their self-worth by their proximity to whiteness. In addition, nothing bothers me more than those same Black people getting shunned by the white people they have aligned themselves with and returning to the Black community for support in their self-imposed plight.

I remember when Kanye West first hit the scene with his College Dropout album. He was raw and gritty, from the streets of Chicago, had just survived a terrible car accident that inspired his debut single, Through the Wire, and had been raised by his mother, Donda West, for whom he had the utmost love and respect. We could relate, as most of us had been through or knew someone who had experienced some aspect of his life. He was the ultimate story of overcoming. Black women’s reverence for him was further solidified when he dropped his single with Jamie Foxx, Gold Digger. One verse, in particular, caught fire:

“So you stick by his side.
I know there’s dudes ballin’, and yeah, that’s nice.
And they gonna keep callin’ and tryin’, but you stay right, girl,
And when you get on, he leave yo’ ass for a white girl.”

I couldn’t personally relate to the lyrics and could not have cared less who any man chose but knew this was a strong narrative circulating amongst Black women. The belief that some Black men would stay with us while they struggled, using our loyalty to grow and flourish, then move on to white women when success hit was hurtful to many. Kanye understood. He, too, could relate. He put Black women’s pain to pen and paper and hit a gold mine. I was skeptical, as I knew the history of people using Black pain and suffering for profit.

As the years went on, Kanye seemed to change. He lost his mother, married, and created a family with Kim Kardashian, appearing to have followed the blueprint he laid out in Gold Digger. His supposed slap-in-the-face of Black women was the catalyst for Poet, Jasmine Man’s 2015 poem, Footnotes for Kanye. As the years went on, we watched him spiral into an abyss of perceived anti-blackness. He allowed his wife to repeatedly appropriate Black hairstyles, mimicking and exploiting the aesthetics of Black women. He supported Donald Trump, who publicly and aggressively sought to disenfranchise Black voters among many other terrible things. And let’s not forget the “Slavery was a choice” thing. Over the years, Kanye has successfully dismantled his reputation in many circles of black people unapologetically.

Fast forward to today. Kanye is in the midst of a messy divorce from Kim Kardashian. His unstable behavior over several years had led to the decline of his marriage. Last year we watched as he begged his wife to take him back. She seems to have ignored his pleas and since then, we have seen him publicize his co-parenting drama time and time again. Then today, Kanye issued the following statement on Instagram:

Divorce and co-parenting problems are not new or exclusive to Kanye West. With almost half of marriages ending in divorce, it’s entirely possible that many of us have experienced the same. Expressing one’s feelings on social media is the new norm. Although not ideal, many people do it to gain support, get sympathy, or simply to vent. But something about this post really bothered me.

The use of the word “BLACK” and the context it was used in feel inauthentic and in my opinion, take away from the real problems that Black people experience. In the first instance, Kanye talks about claims that he put a hit on Kim and how easily these false accusations can impact the lives of Black men. You have to be living under a rock to not understand the impact of police brutality on the Black community and the frequency of Black men being locked up, based solely on the testimony of white women. Although this is a valid concern, I believe Kanye is bringing it up to exploit the emotions that Black women feel when confronted with racism and injustice against Black men. It’s common knowledge that Black women are at the forefront of the fight for racial justice. He knows that and is using that for his own personal benefit, whether warranted or not.

In the second instance, Kanye uses the word “BLACK” in reference to his children, implying the need to protect them. Black women have a history of being viewed as nurturers and living up to that stereotype. Whether being forced to care for the families and nurse the children of slaveowners while ours went neglected, and even feeding our broken and battered men from our breasts when they were deprived of food or the expectation that we are the empathetic caretakers in the organizations, Black women are often given everyone’s burden to carry. When it comes to children, especially Black children, our natural inclination is to protect them from the unique dangers they face in this world. As the son of a Black mother, Kanye gets this. Instead of dealing with his marital woes like a man, he is using his platform to lay his problems at the feet of black women. Words have power and he is yielding that power to play on our emotions.

As a man with the resources needed for whatever legal custody battles he faces and undoubtedly, a team of “yes” men and women surrounding him, ready to jump at his every beck and call, there is no financial support that we can provide him in his time of need. But that’s not what he is looking for. What he needs is our anger, our empathy, our maternal instincts toward his Black children. Kanye wants to win in the court of public opinion and he wants to enlist the help of Black women to wage emotional warfare on his soon-to-be ex-wife. Make no mistake about it. There are some of us that have already internalized his plight and decided that we are ready to get in the trenches to protect this man against the racial injustice he is apparently facing. I am not one of those women and you should not be.

In recent times, self-care has become a 10 billion dollar industry, buoyed by the realization of Black women that our first obligation is to ourselves. We have awakened to the idea that it is not our job to save every Black man that needs saving. Kanye cannot launch a successful career off the backs of black people, say and do hurtful things to those same people, and return to them for support when it’s convenient. He made the decisions that he felt were best for his life and career and has to lie in the bed he made. Most of us get it and take the situation and his obvious pandering to Black women for what it is… gaslighting. My hope for all of us is that we save our energy for those that deserve it and live up to the responsibility they hold as influencers. Let’s prioritize ourselves and ignore the chatter. Don’t be sucked into situations that do not involve you, protect your energy, and certainly do not allow toxic and conniving men of any race to use your Black Girl Magic reserves to fill their cups while leaving your tank on empty.

Here is a list of 9 ways to practice self-care from Essence Magazine.

“I don’t have to go around trying to save everybody anymore; that’s not my job.” ~Jada Pinkett-Smith

Black Girl Magic – Shutterstock

NyRee Ausler

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