NyRee Ausler

It’s entirely possible to resolve conflict at work in a healthy, productive, manner.

As much as we would love to avoid conflict in the workplace, it is inevitable. A disagreement with a colleague or manager can leave you scouring LinkedIn in search of your next career opportunity. Whether it’s a miscommunication, a personality clash, or a disagreement over responsibilities, we are all human and conflicts are bound to arise at some point.

Conflict is not always a bad thing. It can lead to growth, innovation, and stronger team dynamics, depending on how it is handled. Poorly managed conflict can easily become toxic, draining, and might damage your mental health. If you are consistently in the midst of office tension or drama, the impact extends far beyond the workplace. It can follow you home, disturbing your peace long after you have clocked out. That’s when conditions like anxiety, depression, and burnout rear their ugly heads.

Most people don’t know how to address conflict at work while also protecting their mental health. They either suppress their feelings to keep the peace, which leads to resentment and burnout, or they try desperately to fix things by being overly assertive or overextending themselves. Neither one will result in the desired outcome. There is a way to be assertive, respectful, and focused on solutions without sacrificing your sanity.

Here are 10 ways to resolve conflict in the workplace without messing up your mental health

1. Pause before you react

When emotions run high, your nervous system will go into fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn mode. It’s a stress reaction intended to help you survive unforeseen circumstances but is not the best time to fire off an email or confront a colleague. Before you react, give yourself space to process what just happened. Step outside and take a deep breath.

A good technique to help you get into a cool, calm, and collected mind state is to write down what you are feeling before you say it out loud. By pausing, you allow yourself time to respond in a thoughtful manner instead of impulsively. This not only protects your peace but increases the chances of a productive outcome.

2. Set boundaries early on

Many times, conflict comes as a result of unspoken expectations. While something might be a no-brainer for one person, it could be far-fetched for another. It’s important that limits and expectations be communicated before problems arise. Preferences such as how late you are willing to respond to messages, how you prefer to give and receive feedback, and even how you like to be spoken to should be laid out early so there is no confusion and less possibility of conflict.

By clearly setting boundaries early and enforcing them, you lay the foundation for clarity and respect in your professional relationships. This protects your emotional well-being as well as the well-being of the people you engage with in the workplace. Remember that boundaries are not walls you put up to keep others out. They are guideposts that tell others how you expect to be treated.

3. Use “I” statements instead of blaming

It’s easy to assign blame when you are upset or feel wronged. Blanket statements like, “You never…” or “You always…” automatically put the accused on the defensive, making it highly unlikely that there will be a mutually agreed upon resolution. Instead of firing off accusations, true or not, using “I” statements invites a more constructive conversation. They avoid blame and finger pointing, making everyone more receptive to talking it out.

“I feel unheard when I speak up in meetings and don’t get a response,” feels much better to the receiver than, “You always ignore me in meetings.” By talking about how the situation impacts you, you foster empathy and keep the discussion focused on behavior instead of a person’s character. It’s a good way to share your truth without making another person feel attacked.

4. Stick to facts, not feelings

Your feelings are valid. However, in a professional setting, sticking to the observable facts is necessary to keep things on track. Saying, “You made me feel invisible,” is a lot less effective than saying, “I spoke up but wasn’t acknowledged.” By using the “I” statement and focusing on facts, the person you are addressing will be less defensive.

This shift makes it easier for others to engage with your concerns without dismissing them or labeling them “emotional overreactions”. It benefits you by keeping you grounded in reality, so you don’t get swept up in assumptions or allow your thoughts to spiral.

5. Know when to walk away (temporarily)

Not every problem can be resolved and tied up with a neat bow right away. Conversations get heated and you may feel overwhelmed, and that’s okay. The best course of action is to take a break and revisit later. But it should be done in a particular way. Storming off is not how you de-escalate a situation. Instead say something like, “Let’s take a break and revisit this later.”

Temporarily walking away from conflict does not mean that you have given up. It simply means that you are giving both sides an opportunity to step away and return to the conversation when cooler heads prevail. Protecting your mental space can sometimes be hitting pause and allowing yourself and others time to reflect before resuming interactions.

6. Don’t personalize everything

If you step into my home office, the first thing you will notice is a framed graphic from The Four Agreements, a book by Don Miguel Ruiz hanging on the wall. One that I regularly put into action is “Don’t take anything personal”, and what better time to remember than in the workplace, surrounded with conflict? It’s easy to take disagreements personally, especially when it feels like your contributions are being undermined and your input is being dismissed.

Often, how a person is treating you has much more to do with them than it does you. Their stress, insecurities, and communication issues could be causing them to lash out or engage in other toxic behaviors. You might just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Learn to emotionally detach from other people’s projections so you stay balanced and in control of your emotions. Ask yourself, “Is this really about me?”

7. Keep a paper trail

In the world of Human Resources, we often say, “If it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen.” Keeping notes or saving relevant emails in the workplace is not sneaky or conniving. It’s smart. Keeping clear documentation workplace issues gives you a point of reference in case you need to involve HR or leadership.

Having your facts in writing can reduce anxiety because you don’t have to rely on memory or emotion. It’s not conniving, but necessary to make sure you keep conflict to a minimum at work. Keeping a paper trail is a quiet form of self-protection that can empower you to advocate for yourself without the headache of he-say-she-say.

8. Loop in a neutral third-party

Sometimes conflict escalates far beyond what two people can resolve on their own. That’s when you should enlist a third party such as an HR representative, a supervisor, or even a neutral team member to step in. They can take an objective look at the conflict and help to de-escalate the matter when tensions rise.

The neutral party should be someone who is not already aligned with either party to the conflict and will not stir the pot or gossip. They are there because you have hit a wall and need someone to help carry the emotional burden and move things forward. A mediator can help ensure everyone feels heard, keep the conversation respectful, and help to stay on topic.

9. Protect your self-talk

Your internal dialogue can make or break you mentally. How you talk to yourself can either soothe you or sabotage you. A tense interaction can easily cause you to tumble down the rabbit hole of overthinking. “I should have said this” or “They probably think that” are common intrusive thoughts that make a bad situation worse.

Remind yourself that conflict is a normal part of the human experience. It doesn’t dictate your worth. Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk by saying things like, “I handled that in the best way I could have” or “I did the best I could in that moment and will do better next time.” A healthy inner voice is the best defense against mental breakdown in the workplace.

10. Know when to let it go

Not every conflict you will have in the workplace deserves your attention. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to disengage. The outcome, good or bad, is not worth the cost of your emotional wellness and potentially fractured relationships. Letting it go just might be the healthiest and most mature way of resolving the problem.

Once you’ve expressed your needs, tried your best to resolve things respectfully, and found that the issue still exists, but won’t affect your long-term goals, it’s time to drop it and move on. Your mental health should not be sacrificed to fight every little battle. Choose peace over pride whenever possible.

Remember that just because you happen to have conflict in the workplace doesn’t mean that you cannot use it to grow. The willingness to listen, be transparent, show empathy and compassion, and show up with good intent makes the difference between wallowing in misery at work and overcoming obstacles and helping the environment to be better than you found it.

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Things that Trigger My Happiness

August 4, 2024 NyRee Ausler

List 30 things that make you happy.

Happiness is subjective. What makes on person happy might be inconsequential to another. But here is my list of 30 things that make me happy:

1. My kids

2. My extended family

3. Good friends

4. Being loved

5. Giving love

6. Knowing my “why”

7. Peace

8. Self-care

9. Being authentic

10. Speaking my mind

11. Connecting with new people

12. Being present

13. Security

14. Financial stability

15. Appreciation

16. Leaving people and things better than I found them

17. Reaching my goals

18. Understanding myself

19. Knowing my worth

20. Saying “no”

21. Walking away from things that don’t serve me

22. Continuous growth

23. Learning

24. Doing work I love

25. Traveling

26. Eating right

27. Exercising

28. Emotional wellness

29. Spontaneity

30. Writing, of course

#author #writer #blogger #studentoflife

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Knowing Your Human Design is the Key to Living Your Best Life Possible

July 23, 2024 NyRee Ausler

In recent months, I have noticed an uptick in social media videos about Human Design. People are showing an elevated interested in better understanding themselves and each other and are willing to learn new ways of becoming more self-aware.

This renewed intrigue reminded me of an article I wrote about this topic. The information I discovered was pivotal in my journey of self-discovery, so I wanted to share it in hopes that it can be helpful to you, too.

When it comes to human beings, there are many possibilities for the type of person each individual can turn out to be. Personalities and perspectives are unique, and each person has their own special way of moving through life.

There is one groundbreaking way to help you understand your genetic nature and where energy flows within your body. It’s called Human Design.

What is Human Design?

Human Design was created about 35 years ago by a Canadian man named Ra Uru Hu.

Its teachings are based on elements of various ancient systems like Western astrology, quantum physics, chakra systems, Kabbalah, and I Ching.

It is based around neutrinos, particles with a mass equivalent to zero, enabling them to be fast-moving. They are the foundation of the Human Design System, dictating how energy moves through us and influences our interactions.

Like mapping your astrology birth chart, the human design chart is calculated with your birthday, birth time, and place of birth.

Those details are used to create a snapshot of the cosmos at the very moment you entered the world, as well as three months prior to your birth when your brain was still developing in your mother’s womb.

These two snapshots are layers together to give you an energetic blueprint. From there, you can develop a mindset that fits your energy type.

In human design, there are 9 centers represented by geometric shapes in a BodyGraph. These hubs, like chakras, receive and transform energy that circulates throughout our bodies.

Those 9 centers are:

the head (pressure, inspiration)
Ajna (awareness, conceptualization)
throat (manifesting, speaking, doing)
“G” (self, love, direction)
heart (motor skills, ego, willpower)
spleen (immunity, intuition, awareness)
solar plexus (emotions)
root (adrenaline, stress)
and sacral (life force, sexuality)

How To Determine Your Human Design Type

To get your human design type, go to the calculator at the Jovian Archive or use the one at My Human Design. As explained earlier, you will need your birth date, exact time of birth, and location of birth to calculate your chart.

Once calculated, you will find many elements in addition to your Human Design type.

Your “strategy” is the way your energy connects with the flow of life. If you align with it, you will attract opportunities and environments that help you to be who you truly are and fulfill you life’s purpose.

The “not-self theme” gives insight into the way you feel when you are not honoring your true design and trying to be something you are not.

The “inner authority” tells you how you make major life decisions that are right for you. It tells you how you empower yourself to take authority over your own life.

Your “profile” consists of two numbers called lines. The first is something you are conscious of, while the second is something you are likely unconscious of. There are 12 profiles:

1.3: Investigator/Martyr
1/4: Investigator/Opportunist
2/4: Hermit/Opportunist
2/5: Hermit/Heretic
3/5: Martyr/Heretic
3/6: Martyr/Role Model
4/6: Opportunist/Role Model
4/1: Opportunist/Investigator
5/1: Heretic/Investigator
5/2: Heretic/Hermit
6/2: Role Model/Hermit
6/3: Role Model/Martyr

The “definition” is the way our defined human design centers interact with each other. Yours can be set up in one of five ways:

No definition: This has no defined centers and is specific to the Reflector human design type.
Single definition: This means that all of your defined centers and channels are interconnected and flow together like a continuous circuit.
Split definition: Also known as a simple split, this indicates two separate unconnected circuits with defined centers.
Triple-split definition: This is three separate circuits that are not connected but have defined centers.
Quadruple-split definition: This is four separate circuits that are not connected but have defined centers.

Finally, the “incarnation cross” is what defines your ultimate reason for being here. It uses positions of the Sun and Earth at our time of birth to define our life’s purpose. There are 192 possibilities.

Originally published on YourTango.com… read the rest of the article here.

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I Woke Up

June 13, 2024June 13, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What notable things happened today?

Today, I opened my eyes and found myself in my comfy bed. I had a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, a car in my garage, and clothing in my closet. I had air in my lungs and good overall health. My kids are happy and healthy and our future are bright.

Being blessed with the gift of life… another chance to do what I might have done and be what I might have been is the most notable thing that’s happened to me (and you) today. I am grateful.

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Feel the fear and do it anyway.

June 9, 2024 NyRee Ausler

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

My life has been all about overcoming insurmountable odds. Everything that was meant to destroy me has empowered me and built resilience.

I’ve learned how to have difficult conversations, take calculated risks, and find the silver lining in every situation I face. No matter how fearful I am, I always find a way to be brave and push through courageously.

My tagline would be “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

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Being me

May 26, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What are you good at?

The thing that I am most gifted at is being exactly who I am. My healing journey taught me that being my authentic self is my superpower. People that genuinely like me and care about me gravitate toward me. Those that don’t value who I am will exit stage left as they should.

Using your God-given talent of being who you were meant to be is a great way to understand that some things are intended for you while others are absolutely not meant to be yours. What’s for me is for me and I am OK with that 💗.

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A Therapist

May 6, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

I’d like to hear what’s really going on deep inside people’s minds. It would likely shift my view of the world around me dramatically.

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Fenty Beauty

May 5, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What are your favorite brands and why?

One of my favorite brands is Fenty beauty. It’s not just the fact that they have great products that I absolutely love, but also the founder’s values and ethics.

Rhianna gives back to her communities, both here and abroad. She stands up for various causes that speak to me and tries to do the right thing whenever possible.

She’s relatable and human and seems like the type of person that would stop and talk to a stranger on the street. I just look at products. I need to know who is behind the product.

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I Follow My Intuition

May 2, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What gives you direction in life?

There was a time in life where I ignored that little voice in my head or that gut feeling that I was headed in the wrong direction. It always led to unfavorable outcomes.

Nowadays, my first point of reference when looking for direction in life is my own intuition. I have learned to trust myself fully and do what feels right for me. Of course, I do my best to analyze, and make the most educated decisions possible, but if it doesn’t sit well in my spirit, it’s not happening.

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What goes around comes around.

May 1, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

I always remember that whatever I put out into the world always comes back, so I try my best to be good to people and do good in every space I enter.

I’m such a strong believer that I named the 3-part series, ‘Retribution’, that I wrote as follows:

1. What Goes Around…

2. … Comes Around

3. Full Circle

Do the right thing, even when no one else is looking.

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Working with a purpose

April 28, 2024 NyRee Ausler

When do you feel most productive?

I feel most productive when I am well rested, emotionally, balanced, physically, healthy, and genuinely enjoying what I’m doing. Passion and purpose breed productivity for me.

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Positive & Progressive

April 26, 2024 NyRee Ausler

What topics do you like to discuss?

The topics that I like to discuss depend on who I’m talking to. Anything that brings value, uplifts, inspires, and/or builds positive momentum is on the table.

I like to leave anyone listening to me better than I found them. Whether it is a kind word, information that they really need, or just confirmation that they are on the right track, positive interactions just make me feel good.

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I chose purpose over money.

April 24, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

In 2022, I decided to leave my high six-figure job in order to pursue writing full-time. I took an entry-level writing job for a fraction of what I was making in my human resources career. I was so afraid that I had made the wrong choice.

But, within a couple of months, I became the top writer at the digital publishing company. I was promoted to an editor, and wrote over 800 articles.

But the biggest reward for the risk I took, was the impact I had on readers. I learned the words really do have power, and that I can influence through my writing. That made it all worth it. And the opportunity that work generated has been infinite. Sometimes, money isn’t everything.

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Picked the wrong option.

April 23, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

Back in 2014 I was separated from my husband and had an opportunity to get divorced and move on with my life. I allowed him to gaslight his way back into the relationship and 10 years later, I am finally divorcing him. Had I let him go back then, I could’ve saved myself years of wasted time and heartache. But better late than never, I guess. Sometimes things don’t happen in our own timing, but they do happen exactly as they should. So do I really regret it? No. There were many lessons and blessings in the last 10 years. I’m looking forward to what the future holds!

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A High School Epiphany

April 11, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Describe something you learned in high school.

My biggest high school lesson was that everyone who is friendly is not your friend. I learned to tell the difference between people who were there for a season and those who were meant to be around for a lifetime.

Unfortunately, I forgot that lesson as an adult and put some seasonal folks into permanent positions. Nowadays, discernment and intuition are at an all-time high.

#LifeLessons #GrowingPains #Discernment #Intuition #StandingOnBusiness

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Learning to say no.

April 10, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

I started trusting my own intuition first. If something doesn’t feel right, I go with that feeling and just say no. I only do things that serve me and contribute to my evolution into the best version of me.

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Today, I Made My Own Black History!

February 16, 2024 NyRee Ausler

Today is a super special day for me! I have self-published books for years but today, I became a traditionally published author!

After years of advocating for and uplifting women and underrepresented people in the workplace, I was selected to contribute to “Triumph in the Trenches” a few months back.

My chapter “Advocating from Within”, alongside those of 20+ esteemed Black professionals, shares my story of overcoming adversity at work. We share life lessons you can apply to your own circumstances and advice on how to navigate the worst situations.

My dream is to become a New York Times Bestseller and YOU can help make it come true by grabbing a copy today! Thank you to everyone who supports me and believes in me.

Order your copy here: https://atomic-temporary-67033696.wpcomstaging.com/triumph-in-the-trenches/

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Your Year-End Resumé Refresh: 8 Tips For Putting Your Best Foot Forward In 2024

December 23, 2023 NyRee Ausler

If you are like most people, you don’t really think about what’s on your resumé until it is time to look for a new job. You scramble to add your most recent experience and insert some duties and responsibilities. It reads like every other candidate’s resumé, “blah, blah, blah”.

If you truly want to stand out from other applicants and show your value to potential employers, it’s important to add your achievements and experiences while they are still fresh in your mind and relevant to your career goals. That means taking the time to stop and refresh your resume regularly so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time.

And what better time to make those updates than the end of the year? As you take inventory of what went right or wrong, your wins and losses, you can translate those experiences into words that tell your personal story of growth, perseverance, and resilience.

Here are 8 of the best practices for updating your resumé:

1. Choose the right accomplishments to add
Knowing exactly what your career goals are is important for deciding what skills and achievements are relevant. Identify those that are most relevant to the position you plan on getting or retaining in the near future.

Then, reflect on 2023 and come up with examples of work, education, or personal projects that demonstrate those skills and experiences.

2. Use the PAR or the STAR method
PAR stands for Problem, Action, and Result. Similarly, the STAR acronym represents Situation, Task, Action, and Result. This is an easy-to-understand and logical way to structure your accomplishments, highlighting the impact of your work.

For every accomplishment listed, describe the problem or challenge you faced, what you did to resolve it, and the result or outcome. This method of demonstrating your capabilities directly correlates your actions with intended results.

3. Quantify your results
Ideally, the results of the work you did should be measurable. Whenever possible, you should use numbers, percentages, or other metrics to show the magnitude and significance of your achievements.

For example, instead of saying “increased sales,” say “increased sales by 25% in six months”. Framing your accomplishment in this way also demonstrates that you know how to set and meet SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

4. Use action verbs
Use strong action verbs that describe what you did when sharing your accomplishments. For example, use verbs like “led”, “created”, “launched”, “developed”, “improved”, “implemented”, or “achieved”.

An example that demonstrates this is, “Designed and developed a chatbot that improved customer satisfaction by 35% and reduced response time by 50%. Used Python, TensorFlow, and Azure Cognitive Services to implement the chatbot functionality and user interface.”

Avoid passive or vague verbs like “was responsible for,” “assisted with,” “participated in,” or “helped.” These seem to indicate that you just happened to be part of something rather than showing intention, leadership, or autonomy.

Video: Mika Thompson – YouTube

5. Tailor your resumé to each job
All resumés are not created equal. What works for one position will get you overlooked for another. You need a relevant resumé for every role you intend to apply for.

Customize each one to match the specific requirements and expectations. Highlight the accomplishments that are most relevant and impressive for each position.

6. Education matters
If you have gotten new degrees or certifications in 2023, it’s important to include them in your resumé. This includes any internships or milestones you’ve completed and the work you’ve done as part of that assignment.

You might say, “Recent graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and 3+ years of internship experience”. In describing your achievements, you could write, “Developed and launched a web app that reached over 10,000 users and won the Best Student Project Award at the 2023 Tech Expo”.

Another example is to add, “Bachelor of Science in Computer Science, University of Washington, 2023”. You could add, “Graduated with honors and a 3.8 GPA” or “Completed a capstone project on machine learning that was published in the Journal of Artificial Intelligence Research”.

7. Consider any new skills you’ve acquired
On-the-job learning and knowledge you pick up on your own time is important information to add. Any new technological skills should be included in your updated resumé.

You may have become proficient in Python, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, or SQL over the past year. Or you may have become certified in Scrum and Agile methodologies. If your new skills are relevant to the role, add them to your documented experience proudly.

8. Don’t be afraid to brag a little
Think of your resumé as a personal commercial that sells your skills, experience, and knowledge to prospective employers. Any accolades or awards you have received this year are great to include, as they demonstrate your commitment to excellence.

Some straightforward examples of how to do this are “Best Student Project Award, Tech Expo, 2023”, “Dean’s List, University of Washington, 2021-2023”, or “Microsoft Imagine Cup Finalist, 2022”.

You are your own best advocate when it comes to your career.
Remember that no one knows you better than you. The person most qualified to tout your achievements and experiences is that person who was there every step of the way… you!

Updating your resumé regularly is vital to keeping track of what you’ve done professionally. If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. Wishing you an abundant 2024!

This article was originally posted on The Professional Women of Color Network’s blog.

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Perfectly Imperfect: 6 Signs You Have Toxic Perfectionism & 5 Ways To Let It Go

October 12, 2023 NyRee Ausler

When I became a teen mom, I was judged by everyone around me. People thought my life had been ruined by my own actions. Others guessed that I was headed down a long road filled with disappointments and dead ends. That’s where my perfectionism anxiety first started.

Professor and Writer Brené Brown once said, “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun, and fear is the annoying backseat driver.” People who strive to be perfect in everything they do usually come from a place of shame, overcompensating for something that made them feel ‘less than’.

They fear that stigma will stay with them forever and do everything in their power to mute it by accomplishing more and being everything to everyone. That fear of failure links perfectionism and anxiety together in your subconscious mind.

Video: YouTube – The Perfectionist Trap

Here are 6 signs that you are a perfectionist:

The anxious perfectionist believes that if they show they are perfect in every way, whether it be looks, work, personal relationships, or in what material possessions they have, they never have to deal with shame and criticism. Brown refers to it as the “20-ton shield”, meaning that it will protect you against the unwanted blame, hurt, and ridicule, but is also a heavy burden to carry.

Perfectionism is based on external validation. You want to do your best because you are overly concerned about what people will think. The perfectionism isn’t based on who you authentically want to be as a person, but more on how you want to be seen by the outside world.

Now that we know the ‘why’, let’s talk about some signals that might let you know that you have obsessive compulsive perfectionism.

1. You have perfectionism procrastination.

Perfectionism and procrastination seem as if they shouldn’t be in the same sentence. But because you have the need to get it right, your perfectionist behavior can show up as ‘analysis paralysis’, a state where you overthink every minute detail. This can lead to falling behind or being so scared to fail that you avoid the task altogether.

2. You desperately need approval.

Obsessive perfectionism makes you prioritize validation and approval from others. You don’t get the same feeling of accomplishment when you know you’ve done something well as you do when someone else compliments your achievements.

3. You either win or lose. There is no gray area.

People afflicted with compulsive perfectionism have an “all or nothing” mentality. Think of the famous quote from Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Perfectionists equate success with being number one. Anything less is unacceptable.

4. You judge others too harshly.

The tendency to point out the lack of perfection in others can be referred to as ‘moral perfectionism’. You believe that your way is the right way and that if you tear other people down, it will place you on some sort of moral high ground.

5. You feel guilty.

Every perceived failure, no matter how small or insignificant, brings up feelings of inadequacy within you. You get the feeling you have let other people down and allow those emotions to take away from life’s pleasures.

6. You are super defensive.

Perfectionists struggle with taking constructive criticism about their work. They get defensive when given feedback and can lash out if they are seen as anything less than perfect.

Video: YouTube – Georgia Dow

How does being a perfectionist impact your mental and emotional well-being?

Outside of feeling that you are never enough, perfectionists can suffer from a plethora of mental and emotional issues. According to the University of Michigan’s Counseling & Psychological Services Department, some side effects of perfectionism are:

Depression
Anxiety
Test anxiety
Social anxiety
Writer’s block
Obsessiveness
Compulsiveness
Suicidal thoughts
Loneliness
Impatience
Frustration
Anger

So, perfectionism, though typically framed as a good thing by those who have it, is rooted in insecurity, embarrassment, and a deep-seated need for acceptance from the world around you. It can actually have to opposite intended effect, leaving you unhappy, unhealthy, and keeping success just out of your reach.

Here are 5 ways to finally let your need to be perfect go:

1. Give yourself some grace.

Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. It’s important that you take your errors in stride and avoid making them bigger than they really are.

2. Have achievable goals.

If your goals are not realistic, the chances of failure are greatly increased and that will only lead to more disappointment and shame. Aim for S.M.A.R.T. goals; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

3. Understand your value.

Your self-worth is not about what you do, but who you are. Know that you are enough and that just doing your best is success.

4. Stop procrastinating.

Sometimes, you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway. No amount of pondering will make you 100% certain you will succeed. Be willing to take risks and move the goal post closer so you have a better chance of feeling successful.

5. Find your purpose.

Many people do things for accolades and not because they are passionate about them. Your sense of achievement should come from following your life’s purpose, not from doing meaningless things just for recognition.

If you are really struggling with perfectionism and can’t seem to overcome it on your own, it might be time to talk to a therapist. Removing the box you have painted yourself into and healing old internal wounds and trauma can go a long way in helping you focus more on living a beautiful life and less on worrying about what other people think of you.

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20 Positive Affirmations For Being Happy In Difficult Times

October 11, 2023October 11, 2023 NyRee Ausler

With World Mental Health Day just yesterday, I got into a discussion with a friend who called to check on me. She asked how I was holding up in the midst of a ton of recent changes in my life. This led to us discussing affirmations I found helpful when I was feeling overwhelmed.

To give some context, this year has been filled with loss and tragedy. I’ve lost an aunt whom I was growing closer to and a niece whom I loved like one of my own children, initiated a divorce, adjusted to not seeing my kids every day, sold my home, and relocated. And those are just the biggest things. Without a positive outlook, I could easily have folded under the pressure.

Video: Wisdom Nuggets – YouTube

When we experience pain and trauma in life, it’s easy to be unable to see a way out. Maybe the problems you are facing seem insurmountable, or the hurt and devastation are too much to handle. Well, I’m here to tell you that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you can change your mindset, you can turn losses into lessons that, when applied properly, fill your future with blessings beyond measure.

You may have heard of or dismissed the thought that positive affirmations can change your life. But these uplifting words can help you banish negative thoughts and self-talk and literally alter your mental state.

The science behind it is that self-affirmation lights up the ‘rewards’ center of your brain, just as it would if you were performing the actions you are talking about. For instance, if you say, “I am going to get a pay increase,” your body responds as if you already have, and your neural pathways alter areas of your brain that make you feel happy.

In addition, studies have confirmed positive affirmations can decrease health-deteriorating stress, increase your motivation to take effective action and prompt you to change your habits in favor of those that support your goals and purpose. Below are 20 positive affirmations that will help you stay grounded and content in tough times.

20 Positive Affirmations To Uplift You During Hard Times:

1. Life is not happening to me. It’s happening for me.

It’s easy to fall into a victim mentality when you are getting hit with blow after blow in life. Keep in mind that everything you’re experiencing is moving you closer to your destiny.

2. I am in total control of myself and always do what’s in my best interest.

Blaming other people for your suffering can buffer the guilt you feel for where you are in life. Taking accountability for the role you played puts you in a place of acceptance and allows you to forgive yourself. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.

3. I know that this, too, shall pass.

Tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Remember that it can’t rain all the time. The sun will eventually come out. Learn to take the good with the bad and know that your struggles won’t last forever.

4. I am strong and resilient.

When you feel like giving up, remember that you are full of strength and that you didn’t come this far to only come this far. You got this.

5. I know that it gets greater later, and am looking toward the future with excitement.

Fear can be paralyzing and is usually the result of worrying about things that have not actually come to fruition. Stay present and keep your eyes on the prize. You can’t change the past, but you can control what is happening right now and put the pieces in place for a bright future.

6. I stand for something, so I don’t fall for anything.

Sometimes, you have to go through it to get to it. There are no shortcuts or detours. When you stick to your values and principles, it might cost you people and things, but you are willing to grieve those losses to manifest a better tomorrow.

7. I only nourish my body with healthy things.

Garbage in, garbage out. What you take in matters. Whether it’s food or energy, only ‘eat’ things that make you better. Distance yourself from negative places and people, and always protect your peace and tranquility.

8. I go where I’m celebrated, not tolerated.

You don’t have to force anyone to like you. There are people in this world who will love to see you coming. Those are your people. Why even entertain anyone who does not approach you with love, dignity, and respect?

9. I know that everything happens for a reason.

It might not be apparent now, but everything happening in your life is divinely guiding your steps. Trust the process and stay the course.

10. I can do this.

Know that no weapon formed against you will prosper. You are facing challenges because you are a person who can overcome them.

11. If I keep pushing, I will come out on the other side.

When you’re in a storm, you don’t stop and sit in it. You keep on moving until you find yourself under clear skies and in greener pastures.

12. I am comfortable asking for help when I need it.

Many strong people struggle with asking for help. Build rapport with people you trust, and don’t hesitate to reach out. Get professional help if your burdens feel like too much to bare.

13. I give myself adequate time and space to fill my cup.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take time to practice self-care and mindfulness without guilt. Make yourself a priority.

14. I was blessed to wake up this morning and have the opportunity to experience life for another day.

As bad as things seem, there are some people who didn’t wake up today. Be grateful that you are here and have another chance to get it right.

15. I know my purpose, and I do something every day that brings me closer to it.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is find out exactly why are here. What is your passion? How do you want to be remembered? Once you know, act like it and make positive progress in the right direction.

16. I trust my intuition, and I know how to make good decisions.

How many times could you have avoided disaster by simply listening to your inner voice? It’s time to trust yourself and follow divine guidance.

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17. I like myself, so everyone else liking me is just a bonus.

One of the biggest sources of disappointment in life is a lack of external validation. But when you learn to validate yourself, you will begin to care less about what other people think about you.

18. I am worthy of receiving whatever I want in life.

You get what you believe you deserve. Make sure your internal sense of value and worth matches what you are striving for. Never chase. Believe it’s yours, and it shall be.

19. I turn my pain into power.

Everything you experience is either a blessing or a lesson. Even painful and heartbreaking situations can be the catalyst for achieving your wildest dreams. Find the life lesson in your trauma and use it to empower yourself.

20. I am always growing and transforming.

If you want success and happiness, you must realize that there is always something new to learn. Be willing to change your mind in order to morph into your best and most authentic self.

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10 Easy Ways To Start Your 2023 Self-Care Journey Off Right

February 23, 2023October 6, 2023 NyRee Ausler

You’ve likely heard the term ‘self-care’ thrown around a lot over the past few years. Women and men everywhere have been waking up to the importance of taking care of their physical, mental, and emotional health.

The most desirable lifestyle is no longer one of simply coping with the stresses of life. Instead we are taking total and complete control over who and what we let into our orbits and filling our own cups before pouring into others’.

Taking care of yourself sounds good, but putting it into action can be a challenge. Some of us have been looking out for everyone else for so long, we have no idea how to start putting ourselves first. Here are ten easy ways to start practicing self-care:

10 Easy Ways To Start Your Self-Care Journey

1. Make your body your temple.

You get out of life what you put into it. The same goes for your body. When we are stressed, we tend to eat the wrong things and neglect exercise. This will only compound your problems.

The first step in starting your self-care journey is to be mindful of how you feed yourself and what your body needs. Eat mostly nutrient-rich foods, stay hydrated, and squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise daily. Nobody’s perfect, but a little bit of change can go a long way.

2. Stay away from negativity.

Negative people are like a virus that spreads fast and furious, infecting everything they come into contact with. If you find yourself around anyone who bring bad vibes, it’s important to distance yourself from that person.

Protecting your peace and sanity requires blocking out any threats. Negativity can also come be way of news, social media, gossip blogs, and other mediums. Limit your exposure to anything and everything that does not enhance your positive energy.

3. Incorporate peace into your life.

There are several things that can be done to enhance your sense of inner peace. Meditation is the practice of using mindfulness to focus and achieve mental clarity. Calm and Headspace can help you learn to meditate.

Other activities such as journaling, yoga, or walking can help to maintain your mental and emotional wellbeing. You don’t have to walk alone. GirlTrek is an organization aimed at getting Black women moving together. There are also a number of yogis on YouTube to follow and learn from.

4. Take a break.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and recalibrate. The hustle and grind culture that so many of us have subscribed to has taken a big toll on our mental health. Gone are the days when you ignore your intuition and keep pushing.

Life can get overwhelming and it’s important that we know how to just say no. Take a day off from work or log out of your social media accounts. It’s okay to forego some of your obligations and pull yourself together. As long as you communicate your intentions, chill and heal.

5. Do what makes you happy.

We spend so much time doing what we have to do but so little time doing the things that we are most passionate about. Make time to do things that you truly enjoy.

Studies have shown that people who do what they love have lower stress levels, blood pressure, and heart rates, and are able to better regulate their moods. So doing whatever you please isn’t just about preference, your life literally depends on it.

6. Talk sexy to yourself.

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is engage in negative self-talk. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or act in a way you wish you hadn’t. That hurtful conversation that is playing in your head will do more harm than good.

You are your own best and biggest advocate, so be accountable for your actions but forgive yourself quickly. Let go of guilt and other toxic emotions that do you no good and can manifest as self-doubt.

Instead, use inspirational and uplifting words that make you feel good when addressing or referencing yourself. If you don’t love you, why should anyone else?

7. Learn to let go.

Hanging on to feelings like guilt, hurt, and anger can be detrimental to you. It does no one any good to walk around in turmoil because of things that they don’t have the power to change.

We can’t control out pasts, nor can we foresee anything that will happen in the future. What we can do is live in the present, learning from our mistakes, letting go of ill will, and taking actions that will make our chances of success and happiness better.

8. Find your tribe and stay connected.

Surrounding yourself with authentic people who love and support you is imperative to the self-care process. While being a lone wolf might make you feel strong and empowered, being lonely can cause serious issues.

Social isolation has been linked to early death, depression, anxiety, an increased risk of dementia, and even suicide. The ‘no new friends’ era was ill-advised and is dying out, thankfully. Step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people who share your newfound zest for life.

9. Don’t compromise your boundaries or values.

A key aspect of self-care is setting boundaries and making sure that anyone you choose to have in your presence knows what they are and adheres to them. You have to be willing to let anyone who does not respect those limitations go.

Compromising the morals and values that are within you will definitely lead to regret, guilt, and even anger at yourself and the violator. Stick to your guns no matter who doesn’t like it. You’ll be happy you did.

10. Acknowledge and master your emotions.

Burying your feelings breeds toxicity, negativity, and dysfunction. Fear, anger, sadness, and other emotions are a part of life. It’s healthy to process them and express them in ways that benefit you. Every experience in life is a blessing or a lesson.

When you have sentiments that you’d rather avoid come up, let them out, analyze how you’re feeling by asking why, determine what actions you can take to overcome them, and let them go.

If you find that you are simply unable to move past those paralyzing feelings, seek help from a mental health professional. It is okay to not be okay. I am a strong believer in every person participating in continuous therapy because we all need a little tune-up once in a while.

Conclusion

Learning how to take care of yourself takes practice, especially if you are the go-to person that is everything to everybody. Prioritizing self may be a struggle at first, but as the weight of the world lifts off of your shoulders, you will become more and more comfortable and confident in loving yourself first.

Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

12 Signs You Know How To ‘Keep It Real’ & People Trust You

February 1, 2023February 1, 2023 NyRee Ausler

It’s hard to find people who are authentic and genuine with their intentions. The worst feeling in the world is learning that the people you trust are two-faced backstabbers.

You might hear people claim to be ‘keeping it real’ when they are delivering hurtful information or when called out for being mean-spirited.

But in those cases, they are using the term as an excuse for toxic or destructive behavior. So, what does ‘keep it real’ mean and how do you know if you are the credible person you claim to be.

12 Signs You Know How To Keep It Real:

There are telltale signs that you are a person who knows how to keep it real. If you happen to have all of these traits, you are a tried and true individual who people can trust and believe.

1. You don’t force yourself on other people.

You are who you are. You know that not everyone will vibe with you and are completely comfortable with that.

People who are genuine are aware that they will connect with some people and pass on others. If you are the same person no matter who is watching, you definitely keep it real.

2. You don’t judge others.

You are open-minded and understand that everyone has their own unique perspective. If someone’s opinions don’t align with yours, you can agree to disagree.

Your ability to avoid prejudging others makes people comfortable and relaxed in your presence. They find you approachable and interesting.

3. You carve out your own lane.

People who keep it real know who that are and what they want out of life. You are clear on your goals and know what it takes to get there.

Authentic people are not susceptible to influence from others. They are leaders who are not afraid to do things their own way,

4. You are generous.

Generosity is one of the characteristics of those who keep it real. Instead of high sighting on other people, you share resources and beneficial information.

Selfish people have more than enough but hold onto extras because they have a scarcity mindset. People who keep it real believe in abundance and know there is more than enough to go around.

5. You are unmoved by material things.

Authentic and trustworthy people understand that life is more about what’s in you than what’s on you.

They place value on the things that matter like quality relationships, stability, peace, and harmony.

6. You can be trusted.

Most of us hate when people don’t keep it real. You share your deepest, darkest secrets with them and they go running their mouth to anyone who will listen.

If people can trust you to maintain confidence and do exactly what you said you would do, you are reliable and trustworthy.

7. You don’t take things personally.

You never jump to conclusions or assume the worst of people. You let all of the facts come out before passing judgment.

People who keep it real understand that when people do hurtful things, it’s likely a reflection of them and how they feel about their life than it is about you.

8. You are not a clout chaser.

Nothing is worse than a friend or family member that has to memorialize every memory you make on social media. They need everyone to know that life is good.

People who keep it real know that there are some moments that are so special, they should be kept private. They have no need to prove their importance to the masses.

9. You treat everyone with respect and dignity.

People who are known to keep it real don’t consider status or station in life when determining who deserves their respect.

They treat everyone as human beings, deserving of dignity, empathy, and the right to exist just as they are.

10. You practice what you preach.

You say what you mean and mean what you say. You have never subscribed to the ‘do as I say, not what I do’ way of thinking.

People that keep it real lead by example, showing others how to be honest and truthful and to give what they expect to receive.

11. You don’t brag or boast.

Your gifts and good fortune are blessings given to you for living a life of authenticity. They say, ‘easy come, easy go’ and you strongly agree. You don’t make decisions based on your ego.

People who believe in karma don’t brag on their successes or superficial trappings. They know that there is a thin line between the haves and have nots and understand life’s ebbs and flows.

12. You set healthy boundaries and stick to them.

Setting parameters around how you expect to be addressed and treated is the best way to keep it real with yourself.

The most important person to be true to is you. If you can’t be faithful to yourself, there is a 100% possibility you will never be real with others.

NyRee Ausler is a writer and author from Seattle, Washington. Her background is in Human Resources and she writes about women in the workplace and self-help.

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9 Steps To Start A New Career With No Experience No Matter How Old You Are

December 26, 2022December 28, 2022 NyRee Ausler

Whether you want to start a new career at 40, start a new career at 50, or just want to know how to do it with no experience, it is totally possible to switch careers and be a huge success.

In 2021, about 53% of workers made a career change or decided to start a new job. More and more people are asking themselves “How do I start a new career?”. The decision to change jobs is not an easy one and it requires much clarity and flexibility.

I have spent the last two decades working my way up the ladder as a professional in human resources while writing on the side. That career has sustained my lifestyle and provided for me, so I am extremely grateful.

But there has always been something missing. I knew I wanted to do something to help people but wasn’t sure I was doing it in a way that made me happy and fulfilled. Deep in my heart, I knew there was something that was perfect for me out there.

Sometimes, the universe sends you a sign and if you pay attention, it can change your life. In 2013, my husband took me on a getaway to Seaside, Oregon, a three-hour drive from our home at the time.

While we were there, for fun, we both got psychic readings. When it was my turn, the woman was adamant that I am a writer and should be writing. She told me that if I started writing, it would make way for everything I wanted in life.

Although skeptical about the psychic’s vision, I was impressed that she knew about my love of writing. Despite my doubts her words resonated with me and I self-published my first book in 2016. Since then, I have published several more and moonlighted as an author, writer, and blogger.

This year, after yet another unfulfilling role with another company that seemed ‘different’ turned out to be the same ‘ol, same ‘ol, I decided to step out on faith and finally give writing full-time a chance. Since then, life has changed dramatically and in the best ways possible, so, I want to share the details of my career transition.

Why do people choose to start a new career?

The most important thing to know about starting a new career is that no matter how old you are, it’s never too late to be what you’ve dreamed of being. Change can be scary but there are times when it is absolutely necessary.

You found your purpose or your passion.

Sometimes, it just dawns on you that you have found your calling. You know what excites you and makes you feel passionate and purposeful. This is a clear sign that you need to start a new job, strike out on your own, or figure out how to start a new career.

The money just isn’t worth it.

If you feel overworked and underpaid, it might be time to do something that is worthy of your hard work and time. On the other hand, maybe you are well-compensated, but just can’t get into the work you’re doing. It’s time to put your passion over profits.

You need to be challenged.

Boredom is a telltale sign you are in the wrong field. If you have learned all of the ins and outs of your role and nothing about it lights you up anymore, you need to dig deep and find out what makes you feel challenged and enthusiastic. You have hit the glass ceiling and you can break it or live in your purpose.

You need more autonomy.

Some jobs require step-by-step instructions and have strict time constraints around how and when they get done. If this is not your cup of tea and you are struggling to stay within those boundaries, it could be time for a change. There are many careers that offer more autonomy and control over your schedule.

You need a cultural change.

According to a 2018 jobs report from Career Cast, there are certain fields that are considered the worst to work in, with issues like low pay, toxic work environment, and no work/life balance. If your profession is traumatizing you, find out what brings you peace and joy and figure out how to change it.

You need to gain experience.

There are people who know exactly what it is they want to do with the rest of their lives. The missing piece to the puzzle is gaining experience in their new field of choice. That is a perfect time to make a move and discover new opportunities.

9 Steps You Need To Take To Start A New Career

Every person’s journey is different, but if you want to know how to start a new career with no experience at any age, some things are a must.

If you’ve asked yourself “What else can I do?” and received your answer, but have no idea where to start, This list of 10 steps you need to take to start a new career should help:

Get clear on what you want to do.

The most pertinent thing about changing careers is to have complete clarity on what you want to do. You should feel it deep inside of your soul. It should be something challenging, but rewarding that you would do, even if you weren’t being paid.

Be honest with yourself about your abilities.

Many things can be learned but before you set out on a learning path, you have to understand where your skills are at currently. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and write them down so you know what to work on.

Understand the financial impact.

If you switch careers or open your own business, there could be drastic financial changes in store. Be prepared with a savings to cover any shortfalls, if necessary. If that is not possible, you must create a budget and a plan for leaving your unrewarding job in pursuit of your life’s work.

Decide how you want to get paid to do what you love.

When we say ‘career change’ it can mean different things. You can be changing professions and employers, or you can start your very own business. There are benefits and challenges to both, so decide if you will work for others or be your own boss.

Learn new things to fill in any knowledge gaps.

What you choose to do next will require a different skill set and knowledge. You already know what you have. Research the skills required and create a learning path to gain any information you need to pursue your passion. Looking at job postings in your desired field can help determine what you are missing.

Start networking.

Now that you’ve taken inventory of your skills and filled the gaps, it’s time to try out your new field. Apply for jobs or send out proposals to prospective clients. Network with people already in the industry and leverage and learn from them whenever possible.

Be humble & open to new experiences.

Working your way toward the top of one field then deciding to go in a different direction can be jarring. You likely won’t get the same salary you had before when starting out. Read the room and set reasonable expectations. If you work hard and are passionate about your work, the money will come.

Stay curious & aware that you don’t know everything.

Doing what you love for a living doesn’t mean you shouldn’t aspire to be the very best at what you do. Know that there is always something new to learn. You can learn from anybody in the world, so be open-minded and accountable when you make a mistake.

Following your passion is still work. Treat it as such.

There will be days you don’t feel like working and times you want to give up. Loving what you do does not exclude you from exhaustion or burnout. Do what you must to be successful but remember that work/life balance and self-care should be first priority every single day.

Benefits of Starting A New Career

Since starting my full-time writing career, life has changed dramatically. I no longer wake up with a knot in the pit of my stomach, anxious about what the day may hold.

The autonomy offered by my new career affords me the time to take my kids to and from school and stay up late with my husband without feeling like I have to make a choice between my family and career.

But most importantly, I am doing what comes naturally to me and doing well at it. I have been more successful in my new full-time writing career than I ever could have imagined and strive to do even better. I feel good about the work I’m doing and feel like I am finally doing what I was created to do.

Thoughts, Theories and Theatrics Blog

A Growth Mindset vs. a Fixed Mindset

November 29, 2022 NyRee Ausler

By now we understand how the way we think can help us to learn and grow. Your mindset allows you to create the reality in which you choose to live, based solely on your own perception.

How you see growth and change can dictate how successful you will be in life, how you navigate challenging situations, and whether or not you have the ability to pivot when necessary.

And it all comes down to the type of mindset you have.

What is a growth mindset?

People with a growth mindset are confident in their intelligence and talents. They are willing to step out of their comfort zone to reap substantial rewards.

If you have a growth mindset, you believe that your abilities can be developed over your lifetime, with no limits on how much you can evolve over time.

Individuals with a growth mindset aren’t put off by hard work. They praise the process of acquiring new information and know that no matter how good they are at something, talent can be developed as long as they live and breathe.

What is a fixed mindset?

On the flip side, people with a fixed mindset think that their amount of intelligence, abilities, and talents stay the same and don’t have the capability to expand.

Someone with a fixed mindset avoids challenges because they are afraid to fail. This mindset tells you that there is no point in effort or practice because you are destined to fail.

Individuals with a fixed mindset don’t have the motivation or dedication to see goals to fruition. A temporary setback can easily become a permanent disappointment.

It is important that people with the lesser of the two, a fixed mindset, make the changes needed to develop a growth mindset and change the way they navigate life.

There are several benefits to having a mindset of growth and development. A national experiment revealed that high school students who adapted a growth mindset improved their academic performance and were more motivated.

Studies have also shown that students who learned to have a growth mindset had a higher grade-point-average than those with a fixed mindset.

A growth mindset has been known to reduce burnout and psychological problems like anxiety and depression, and result in fewer behavioral problems.

Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset

Fixed and growth mindsets are two opposite sides of the same coin.

Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist from Stanford University, first explored the concept of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. Though science has told us our brains stop developing around the time we are in childhood, she disagrees.

Dr. Dweck wrote a book entitled “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” in which she talks about how humans can fulfill their full potential.

This article was originally posted on YourTango. To learn the differences between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and how to change yours, click here.

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How To Manifest A Better Life Than You Ever Thought Possible

November 2, 2022November 1, 2022 NyRee Ausler

Over the past few years, there has been no shortage of information floating around about the power of manifestation.

Some have been unlucky in love and are looking to find their soulmate, while others have done all they could to excel in their careers but have always found success and happiness just out of reach.

But what if you could use the Law of Attraction to manifest a better life than you ever thought possible?

Whether you are struggling with love, finances, family relationships, or health issues, learning how to manifest better things can help you get to where you want to be in life.

Manifestation used to be something that only a small subsection of the population talked about. It was not openly discussed and seemed to be one of those mystical things that eccentric free-spirited people believed in.

People that viewed themselves as logical and realistic dismissed the idea that we could manifest our own destinies as make-believe.

Then books like “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” by Abraham Hicks started to open the world’s eyes to the possibility that we are have the power to achieve our wildest dreams.

Manifestation happens when you have specific goals and use belief, visualization, affirmations and action to reach them.

It takes practice and dedication, but once mastered, can be the difference between falling short and finally getting the results you want.

To get started, let’s talk about exactly how to manifest a better life for yourself.

How to manifest a better life in 5 simple steps

1. Get specific about what you want.

When setting goals, it’s easy to be vague. Wishing to be rich or famous or to find love sounds good, but none of these pinpoint exactly what you want.

How rich is rich? Do you want to be movie star famous or social media influencer famous? Who are you hoping to find love with?

Everyone has their own unique idea about what would enhance their lives. What would constitute a better life for you?

Try being clear about your desires. If you want a million dollars, say that. If you need a supporting and healthy mate, set your sights on that. Rather than wishing for a promotion, go for the Director role.

Understand how reaching these milestones will change your life so you know the purpose behind your aspirations.

Write your ambitions down, along with the anticipated outcomes you desire, so you keep them top of mind.

2. Ask for what you want… and keep asking until you get it.

This is where the Law of Attraction comes in. It’s important that you request what you need from the universe.

How you ask for what you want is up to you. Some people pray on it. Others sit quietly and speak it into the air or meditate silently.

You can write it down or clip images that represent what you are striving for from magazines and paste them on a vision board.

However you choose to do it, you must visualize what you want and call it into existence daily.

3. Do your research, plan, and get organized.

There is an old saying that nothing comes to dreamers but dreams.

Manifesting is not just hoping and wishing. It requires an understanding of what is necessary from you to receive what you want. You must know what is stopping you from getting to where you should be and how to overcome those obstacles.

If you want to become a doctor but aren’t qualified, you need get an education. If you want to develop a healthier relationship with your spouse or kids, you may need to work on yourself.

Whatever it is that will help you get to your desired destination needs to be understood and documented.

Lay out the steps you need to take to do so and schedule your time to allow for them. Then organize anything related to your plan in an easily accessible location for reference.

Keep reading here for two other ways to manifest your best life.

This article was originally posted on YourTango.com.